he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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