i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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