I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize