think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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