Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize