I don't usually arrange sex via text message
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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