Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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