I am puke
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize