Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
