the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
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There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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