dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize