This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
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I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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