Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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