I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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