If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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