So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize