you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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