Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize