Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
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It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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