why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize