no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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