Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize