But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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