the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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