omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize