I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
