after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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