i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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