Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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