Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize