Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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