; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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