Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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