So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize