Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize