i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
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You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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