your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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