If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize