I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize