So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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