Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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