you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
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It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
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My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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