I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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