do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize