So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize