i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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