I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize