Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Mom said you looked used
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize