u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize