i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize