Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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