i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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